· Gen 9:1 To Noah- “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth…”
The only humans left after the flood are Noah, his wife, their sons and their son’s wives (ALL descendants of Adam & Eve). Talk about keeping it in the family! With such limited genetic information to pass from one generation to the next (not to mention there has been thousands of years of inbreeding already) it’s a wonder modern man can tackle the mysteries of the universe let alone form coherent sentences.
· Gen 9:2-3 “The fear and dread of you will fall on all beasts of the earth… everything that moves about will be food for you.”
Finally! Mankind can eat meat! Only took several thousands of years! Perhaps in another thousand, the animals will be able to eat meat as well??? Oh, the suspense!
· Gen 9:12 “Never again will all life be destroyed by the waters of a flood.”
Not ALL life, just some of it… over and over again. Is he not merciful?
· Gen 9:13 “I have set my rainbow in the clouds and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth”
I bet god was pissed when the gay community adapted this as their sign… Then again, he knew they would? Does this mean the gays are god’s chosen people?
· Gen 10:2 … Gomer is a biblical name?!? No, really it is. I’m not making this up! Wait, don’t tell me… Bubba and Cletus are too?
· Gen 11:5-9 Now this one is a doozie!
The people of the world at this point spoke one language. They come together and decide to build a city and a “tower that reaches to the heavens.” god comes to earth and sees what they’re building and says “If as one people speaking the same language they have done this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us (who is this US again? More than one god perhaps? god’s reference to “us” happens a lot.)go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.
What a jerk! There I said it. Did he feel threatened? Is this some form of biblical union busting? That was just a dick move no matter how you want to look at it… but, god is good?
· Gen 16:2-3 “The lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave…” Sari took her Egyptian slave and gave her to her husband to be his wife…”
Slavery, adultery AND polygamy are endorsed by the bible?!? It must be, for the bible tells me so!
· Damn… god is making personal appearances left and right. Why then and not now? Instead of being able to sit down to breakfast with god and hear his mighty word, all we get are garbled religious images that appear on pieces of toast. Is god outsourcing work these days? The quality and personal touch seems to have really gone downhill.
· Gen 17:10 Apparently circumcision is a decree from god… Serve thy god through genital mutilation… great… Abraham was circumcised at the age of 99?!? Brutal!
Don’t know how much more I can stomach today. I’ve had all I can stands and I can’t stands no more. Till next time!
